Story

Description

The boys start taking Sunday school classes after Father Maxi tells them they risk Hell if they don't show up. But their lessons (about confessing their sins and eating the body and blood of Christ) only confuse them. They're also horrified to find out that Timmy can't get into heaven because he's physically unable to confess his sins, and that Kyle won't be allowed in because he's Jewish.

Meanwhile, in Hell itself, Satan is horrified when his ex-lover, Saddam Hussein, returns to disrupt his relationship with his current flame, Chris. The three have a very uncomfortable dinner together, after which Saddam gives Satan his hotel key. Later that evening Satan, torn, stands in front of Saddam's hotel, wondering if he should go in or go home.

Back on earth, the boys rush to church to confess their sins. Kenny is run over by a bus when they cross the street, He dies with sins on his soul. Terrified that the same fate will be theirs, they arrive at the church and open the confessional only to discover Father Maxi having sex with a woman.

The boys, disillusioned, decide they must take their salvation into their own hands. Cartman becomes a street corner preacher, offering his brand of spirituality to a growing crowd of frightened children.

What I Learned Today

"Well, it looks like we're gonna have to save Timmy, Kyle, and everyone else in this town from the angry hand of God ourselves!"

Memorable Quotes

• "It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation." Cartman
• "Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn't want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers and then told people to eat him." Stan
• "I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers " Butters
• "Yeah, you killed me. So? Where was I gonna go? Detroit?" Saddam Hussein
• "Screw him! He can't pound your ass like I can!!" Saddam Hussein
• "No, Chris. You don't understand. Saddam is f**king crazy." Satan
• "And then this other time I went pee-pee in the Holy Water thing." Cartman
• "The guys said that if I don't confess my sins and eat crackers I'm gonna go to hell!" Kyle
• "Satan, that guy is a pussy." Saddam Hussein
• "Oh this guy is SO gonna burn!!" Cartman to Father Maxi
• "Dude, if THIS guy's going to hell, who's gonna save US?!" Stan

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Kenny McCormick

Butters Stotch

Timmy Burch

Mr. Mackey

Father Maxi

Satan

Gerald Broflovski

Sheila Broflovski

Ike Broflovski

Saddam Hussein

Betsy Donovan

Character Debuts

Chris, Satan's kind-hearted, push-over boyfriend. They live together in their River Styx Marina Condominium.

Sister Anne, a kind nun that works at Father Maxi's Church.

Sister Ann

We also briefly meet the Pope, who is very, very old.

Pope John Paul II

Body Count

Kenny gets run over by a bus, but doesn't die. More about that in "Probably". Satan also kills a few demons in an angry rage, but they're probably dead already.

Locations

Hell

South Park Church

Original Songs

It's Luau Sunday in Hell, and we get the pleasure of dancing along to the Caribbean themed "Hookie-lau".

Behind The Scenes

Where Did The Idea Come From

Matt and Trey were always intrigued by the idea that, if you strictly interpret the New Testament, babies go to Hell because they lack the mental faculties to accept Jesus. Also, they wanted to feature Satan and Saddam, who hadn't been seen since Bigger, Longer & Uncut. This is the first episode of a two-parter, which concludes with "Probably".

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

Ike is reading "Cannery Row" by John Steinbeck - his second Steinbeck novel of the day. Pretty impressive for a 3 year old.

Pwn'd

The roster of famous people in hell includes film critic Gene Siskel, George Burns, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bob Hope, Mao Tse Tung, Jerry Garcia, John F. Kennedy, JFK Jr., Princess Diana, Jeffrey Dahmer, Allen Ginsberg, Michael Landon, Hitler, Tiny Tim and Walter Matthau. Also Conan O'Brien, who isn't dead yet.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

Satan owns a collection of Hummel figures.

In his office, Priest Maxi's inbox and outbox are labeled "The Lord Giveth" and "The Lord Taketh".

Cartman baptizes Kyle, Ike, and Timmy with a garden hose (then with a "Wacky Water Weasel"). Shortly after, Cartman and the boys form Kids Against Hell, a religious organization that offers salvation to kids.

During the scene where Cartman is baptizing the kids, a Visitor can be seen above Ike. Also above the confessional, they are wooden.

Season 4

e1 Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000

e2 The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000

e3 Quintuplets 2000

e4 Timmy 2000

e5 Pip

e6 Cartman Joins NAMBLA

e7 Cherokee Hair Tampons

e8 Chef Goes Nanners

e9 Something You Can Do With Your Finger

e10 Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?

e11 Probably

e12 Fourth Grade

e13 Trapper Keeper

e14 Helen Keller! The Musical

e15 Fat Camp

e16 The Wacky Molestation Adventure

e17 A Very Crappy Christmas