About

A close ally of the elves who performs comedy and music at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey daily, the Bard is a legendary figure in the mystical land of Zaron, capable of magical songs of enchan- magical songs of enchan- magical songs of enchan- enchan- magical songs of enchan- magical songs of enchantment. He was one of the lieutenants for the PlayStation 4 Army under Princess Kenny and Ranger Stan Marshwalker, and subsequently became a leader in the High Jew Elf King's kingdom, helping take possession of the Stick of Truth itself at one point. The Bard also bravely fought Nazi Zombie Cows at Bill Denkins' Ranch in order to acquire his treasured flute, a weapon he later used to defend the town from angry rats. He is also known for his unforgiving use of the notoriously dangerous brown note, which upon being played, forces you to crap your pants.

The Bard's Song

• "There once was a Maiden from Stonebury Hollow/She didn't talk much but boy she did she swallow/I had a nice lance which she sat upon/The Maiden from Stonebury was also your mom" (South Park: The Stick of Truth)

Featured Episodes

• Black Friday (s17e07; debut)
• A Song of Ass and Fire (s17e08)
• Titties and Dragons (s17e09)

Video Games

South Park: The Stick of Truth

The Bard

Lord of Song, King of Comedy, and Knower of the Forbidden Note! The Bard is an essential member of the elven army, using the power of music to enchant and destroy his enemies.

Bonus Factoids

• No, the Bard wasn't in The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers -- Jimmy played a powerful wizard in that game, who was tragically killed defending the boys from the Sixth Graders with spells and sorcery.
• In early builds of the game, the Inn of the Giggling Donkey was actually Chris Donnely's House - which is why it looks so different from the Valmer Residence seen in the show - and the player would have faced Donnely there instead. Why this was changed is unknown, but many files in the game still refer to the level as the Donnely House.

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