About

All Tom Cruise has ever wanted in the world was to be free of slander and ridicule. A devoted scientologist for much of his life who is as well-known for jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch as for his movies, he failed to impress the prophet, Stan Marsh and locked himself in the prophet's closet. He only left upon the discovery that Stan was not, in fact, a re-incarnated L. Ron Hubbard, and went back to his mansion in the Rockies, which has several empty closets of it's own. He returned to South Park for some 'fly-fishing' (and fudge packing) and again overreacted, drawing together two-hundred angry celebrities to sue the town, and gain access to Muhammad so they could gain his ability to escape ridicule. His efforts failed, and he now lives on the moon alongside the gentle zypod Willzyx. Some say, he's still in the closet to this day...

Memorable Quotes

• "I'm never coming out!"
• "I will SUE you!'
• "Oh God... you've found my fudge-packing uniform." (200)
• "N-no, Jared, that's a closet." (200)

Featured Episodes

• Trapped in the Closet (s09e12)
• 200 (s14e05)
• 201 (s14e06)
• Coon 2: Hindsight (s14e11; cameo)

Video Games

South Park: The Stick of Truth

When in Stan's bedroom, if one tries to enter his closet a sample of Cruise's voice from "Trapped in the Closet" plays ("I'm never coming out!") despite his death in the series.

Fun Facts

• Tom Cruise is one of the only celebrities South Park has mocked to attempt to take real-world action against the show - he pressured Viacom to pull "Trapped in the Closet" from the airwaves, or else not promote his upcoming film Mission Impossible 3 and temporarily succeeded. This may be why he was chosen to lead the angry celebrities in "200" and "201".