Story

A routine tonsillectomy goes horribly wrong and Cartman ends up contracting the AIDS virus. When he's ridiculed by Kyle for having HIV, Cartman retaliates by infecting him with the virus, too. Now, desperate to find a cure, Kyle and Cartman travel to Los Angeles in search of the only man who has beaten AIDS in the past: Magic Johnson.

Description

While having his tonsils removed, Cartman is accidentally infected with HIV from a blood donor. From this point on throughout the episode, Cartman dresses as Andrew Beckett, played by Tom Hanks in the movie Philadelphia. Shocked, he attempts to gain the support and pity of those around him but is unsuccessful because the AIDS awareness fad has been replaced by concern about cancer.

Upon hearing the news of Cartman's diagnosis, Kyle leaves the room and bursts out laughing because of all the years that Cartman had suggested giving AIDS to Kyle and because Cartman constantly harasses Kyle. A special event is held for Cartman in which Elton John is expected to turn up and sing a song to him, however it is an extremely poor turnout and Elton John doesn't even come because, as a waitress notes, people nowadays care more about cancer than AIDS. Instead Jimmy Buffett sings to Cartman, who is absolutely livid about all this.

The next day when Cartman asks why Stan, Kyle and Kenny did not turn up, Stan says they forgot and asks if Elton John sang for Cartman. He replies that Jimmy Buffett came in his place, sending Kyle into hysterics to the point he had to run home. Stan explains to Cartman that Kyle truly feels bad for Cartman, he just thinks it is ironic and he deserves to be punished because he is always so horrible--especially to Kyle himself. Cartman plots revenge by drawing some of his own blood with a syringe and putting it in Kyle's mouth as he sleeps with help of an unsuspecting Butters. Cartman confesses he has sneaked into Kyle's room dozens of times.

When Kyle is diagnosed with HIV, he knows at once who is at fault, despite numerous suggestions that he contracted it through unprotected anal sex and blood transfusion. Kyle confronts Cartman in the playground and beats him up until Mr. Mackey stops him. The school authorities merely ask Cartman to apologize to Kyle for giving him HIV, and Kyle to apologize for tattling about it.

Angered by this injustice, Kyle ignores Cartman's apology and goes straight to Cartman's house, telling Cartman that he intends to demolish everything he owns and his room. When Kyle picks up Cartman's Xbox 360, Cartman pleads with him, telling him that he has done research which leads him to believe that a cure for AIDS lies in Magic Johnson's longevity since becoming infected with HIV. Kyle and Cartman fly to Johnson's house after gaining free airline tickets by pretending to have "all-over" cancer, because AIDS is too "retro" a disease. During their trip together, Kyle becomes angered by Cartman's constant repetition of the phrase "I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive", ultimately screaming that neither AIDS nor dying is funny. Johnson is sympathetic toward the boys, offering assistance, but is unsure what he has in his house that helps. Upon investigation, Kyle and Cartman find that Johnson sleeps regularly with huge piles of cash in his bedroom, because he does not trust banks; cash eventually proves to have the ability to neutralize HIV. Laboratory scientists experiment with a concentrated dose of "about $180,000 shot directly into the bloodstream" on the boys, which disintegrates the HIV--implying the solution to any problem is simply to throw money at it. Word spreads about the cure for AIDS and an event is held at which Jimmy Buffett sings "CUREburger in Paradise". Volunteers inform poverty-stricken Africa that the fight against AIDS is over because all those suffering from the AIDS epidemic have to do now is inject themselves with piles of cash - which of course they do not have. Kyle, after an unfortunate mix-up during the celebration in which the speaker addresses him and Cartman as "two brave lovers", tells Cartman he is still going to break his Xbox anyway, prompting Cartman to run after him.

Memorable Quotes

• "God dammit this SUCKS ASS!" Cartman

Characters

Locations

Aids Research Center

Hells Pass Hospital

Behind The Scenes

Pop Culture References

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

During the final scene, a Visitor can be spotted on the top left next to Kenny's family.

Season 12

e1 Tonsil Trouble

e2 Britney's New Look

e3 Major Boobage

e4 Canada on Strike

e5 Eek, A Penis!

e6 Over Logging

e7 Super Fun Time

e8 The China Probrem

e9 Breast Cancer Show Ever

e10 Pandemic

e11 Pandemic 2: The Startling

e12 About Last Night...

e13 Elementary School Musical

e14 The Ungroundable