Tom's Rhinoplasty
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| Season | s01 |
| Episode | e11 |
| Written By | Trey Parker |
| Production Code | 0111 |
| Original Air Date | 1998-02-11 |
Episode Chronology
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Story
While Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all compete for the attention of Ms. Ellen, the new substitute teacher.
Description
When Mr. Garrison decides to get surgery, he's replaced by a substitute named Ms. Ellen. Stan and the other boys in class fall in love, to Wendy's horror. Later she warns Ms. Ellen not to get between her and Stan.
The next day, Ms. Ellen announces that whoever gets the highest score on the next spelling test wins dinner with her. Chef tells the boys that he has learned their teacher is a lesbian. They have no idea what a lesbian is, but if Ms. Ellen likes them then that' is what they want to be. Told by Cartman's mom that lesbians like to "lick carpet," they spend hours on the floor doing so.
Wendy tries to win Stan back by dressing like the bad-girl version of Sandy from "Grease". But her plan derails when Ms. Ellen shows up wearing leather pants. Even worse, Mr. Garrison returns to announce that he quits teaching to "hang out and screw hot chicks." It seems his surgery -- a nose job -- worked out better than expected. When the bandages come off, he looks exactly like David Hasselhoff.
Wendy's day couldn't get worse. Ms. Ellen will replace Mr. Garrison as their home teacher. Stan got the high score on the spelling test and gets to have dinner with her. Also, Principal Victoria tells Wendy that her grandma just died.
However, things turn around. Mr. Garrison tires of being pursued by horny women and has his surgery reversed. Then a group of Iraqi soldiers burst into the school and grab Ms. Ellen, whom they say is a war criminal. She's taken back to Iraq, packed into a missile and shot into the sun.
Wendy monitors her teacher's execution with great satisfaction during a pool party at her house. The attendees are a suspicious mix of the women who drove Mr. Garrison to reverse his operation, and the Iraqis responsible for capturing and killing Ms. Ellen.
What I Learned Today
"Don't fuck with Wendy Testaburger!"
Memorable Quotes
- " Damn man, somebody's got to pull that monkey out of Wendy's ass." Cartman
- " Yeah they Kick ass at spanking!" Kenny
- "I can't wait for Ms. Ellen to see what a raging lesbian I am!" Stan
- "Oh thank you very much, Kenny. This is a very scrumptious looking sausage." Miss Ellen
- "When someone gets as old as you, do they have to wear Depends under-garments?" Wendy Testaburger
- "Alright ,Wendy, seriously, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing." Cartman
- "Wow! That's a pretty good nosejob!" Mr. Garrison
- "I've been licking this carpet for three hours and I still don't feel like a lesbian!" Cartman
- "Oh boy, I'm gonna need some more smack." Mr. Garrison
- "Are we making love yet?" Stan
Characters
Kyle Broflovski
Eric Cartman
Kenny McCormick
Bebe Stevens
Wendy Testaburger
Clyde Donovan
Jerome "Chef" McElroy
Herbert Garrison
Principal Victoria
Photo Dojo Photographer
Character Debuts
Ms. Campbell
Body Count
Kenny McCormick
Locations
Original Songs
Chef croons Ms. Ellen with his funky jam "No Substitute". It secures him a dinner date, but no love making.
Behind The Scenes
Pop Culture References
Shout Outs
After his nose job, Mr. Garrison vomits when the movie Contact is mentioned. Also, the Andy Gibb song "Shadow Dancing" plays whenever Hasselhoff/Garrison appears.
When trying to gauge Ms. Ellen's looks, Chef uses a scale of celebrities: "Is she like, Vanessa Williams beautiful or Toni Braxton beautiful? Or Pamela Anderson beautiful?" It's finally decided that she is: "Or is she Erin grey in the second season of 'Buck Rodgers' beautiful".
When Ms. Ellen asks where Mr. Garrison left off, Cartman responds. "We were learning about how Yasmine Bleeth was going out with that Richard Greico guy that used to be on '21 Jump Street', but then he got his own show for just a while." According to this, he stopped teaching right before he got to the show "Booker".
During the opening credits guest star Natasha Henstridge, who voices Ms. Ellen, is referred to simply as "the chick from Species."
Pwn'd
When Wendy shows up for class in her raunchy makeup and outfit, Cartman says "Wow, Wendy looks just like that chick from Grease, Elton John."
David Hasselhoff, famous star of Baywatch and Night Rider. After Garrison's plastic surgery, pictures of his actual face are used.
In their desperate attempt to become lesbians, Stan buys an "Indigo Girls" CD, which they listen to while licking the carpet.
Bonus Factoids
Pointless Observations
Stan, if you count flashbacks, pukes 19 times in this episode.
This is the first of three episodes in which Mr. Garrison gets major cosmetic surgery.
In an effort to meet Ms. Ellen, Chef comes into the classroom saying Kyle left his detergent on the playground. He gives Kyle a box of "Whitey's Washing Detergent".
Bebe goes to Wendy's house to give her a make-over. This is the first time they're seen hanging out together outside of school and the first hint that they're friends.
When the Iraqis arrive, one of the alien "drawings" on the back wall has blinking eyes.
Wendy becomes the first female character to drop an F-bomb on the show.