The Crap Out

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Season	s28
Episode	e05
Written By	Trey Parker
Production Code	2805
Original Air Date	2025-12-10

Episode Chronology

Previous
Turkey Trot
Next
TBA

Official Description

Satan’s due, Stan’s praying, and only a Christmas miracle can deliver the Antichrist on time.

Full Description

Memorable Quotes

"Sounds like some socialist bullshit to me, bro." - Jesus
"We need some GOD DAMN CHRISTMAS MAGIC!" - Stan
"Just shut up and pour me that shit." - Jesus
"Donald?! DONALD! Where is Donald?!" - Satan
"He is such a piece of Shit!" - Satan
"Merrrry Christmaaas! Relaaax guy! Hey hey hey! Relaaaaax Guy!" - Donald J. Trump
"Alright we just gotta keep it quiet. Nobody can know I want to kill this baby- OHP!" - Donald J. Trump
"HAP-PY HOLIDAYS! HEY HEY HEY!" - Donald J. Trump
"Okay let's synchronize our watches. It's time to complete Operation Kill My Own Baby!" - Donald J. Trump
"A Christian woman knows her place! So go ahead and punch me in the face!" - [[Peggy Rockbottom]
"Look guys it's Stanny!" - Beary Bear
"That son of a... bitch..." - Satan
"Urhggh... God, he is SO disgusting..." - Satan
"Argh, he's such a PIG!" - Satan
"It's Vaaance..." - Towelie
"The President... Vance... so much sex..." - Towelie
"PLEASE... I need to get... just a LITTLE high..." - Towelie
"Yeah, he's gonna have a butt baby and there's gonna be a BIIIIIG CRAP OUT!" - Beary Bear
"They couldn't let ANYONE know they wanted to get rid of the baby because, you know, Republicans, abortions... It's a bad look." - Towelie
"The President hath deceived me. He hath deceived us all. And I shall make him PAY." - Satan
"Oh hell yeah, man, let's go get that mother fucker." - Towelie
"Satan's gonna crap out his anal womb!" - Critters
"You have LIED TO ME..." - Satan
"Boss, it's your cum rag!" - JD Vance
"Did Donald tell you he has genital warts?" - Satan
"What's going on is the most exquisitely woven tapestry of ideas that you've ever seen, man." - Towelie
"Keep your hands off my President, bro." - Jesus
"This happens to be a great man who's PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY from fags." - Jesus
"What the hell happened to Jesus?" - Towelie
"He's all Christian now." - Stan
"This 'man' is a con artist and I will deal with him!" - Stan
"YEAH! AMERICA! WWWOW!!" - Jesus
"I got another Christian dipshit to help me get what I want! Let's go Christianity!" - Donald J. Trump
"I mean I KNEW he sucked, okay? I KNEW it, but I didn't think he would go this far. I am so STUPID." - Satan
"Satan's right. If the President has Jesus on his side, he's unstoppable!" - Beavery Beaver
"Do not listen to these foul creatures of darkness, child!" - Peter Thiel
"Hey, I didn't hit her, okay? I mean, alright... maybe I did! But... Peggy was asking' for it!" - Jesus
"Ay! Don't forget I can SUE YOU!" - Donald J. Trump
"Whu-whu dare you TALKIN' BOUT?!" - Beavery Beaver
"Boss! Boss! It's a miracle!" - JD Vance
"AY MERRY CHRISTMAS! Did you hear the news?! THE BABY'S DEAD!" - Donald J. Trump
"I WIN! I WIN! I WIN AGAAAAAIN!" - Donald J. Trump