Story

When Kenny and his girlfriend are given purity rings at a Jonas Brothers concert, the boys attempt to save him from the boring monotony of a sexless relationship. Inevitably, the only way to help Kenny is to foil the evil moneymaking schemes of a power-hungry cartoon mouse.

Description

To the amazement of all the other boys, Kenny has a girlfriend, fifth grader Tammy Warner. Butters hears a rumor that Tammy is a slut because she gave another male student a "B.J." in a T.G.I. Friday's parking lot, so Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, hoping to spare Kenny's feelings, decide to warn him. To their bewilderment, Kenny's reaction is excitement and happiness. Kenny invites Tammy to go with him to T.G.I. Friday's after school, at which point she confesses that the rumor about her is true, but, not noticing his delight, explains that the only reason she did it was because she became aroused after watching the Jonas Brothers perform. Consequently, Kenny, hoping she will give him a "B.J." as well, takes Tammy to a Jonas Brothers concert at the Pepsi Center, with his friends disgusted by his intent; Cartman claims that "the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman."

After the concert, Tammy and several other girls are invited backstage, where they think the Jonas Brothers want to have sex with them. Instead, they convince girls to wear purity rings as a pledge to abstinence and tell them to get all of their friends to start wearing them as well because "That is just the way we roll" which is a reference to one of their songs. To appease his girlfriend, Kenny reluctantly begins wearing a purity ring. As Kenny becomes dull as a result and ceases to spend time with his friends, it is revealed that the Jonas Brothers are being forced to wear and promote purity rings by their boss, a fearsome, greedy, sadistic, and foul-mouthed Mickey Mouse, who verbally berates and violently beats them when they complain that the rings are overshadowing their music and projecting the wrong message. Mickey explains that the rings allow him to sell sexual stimulation to young girls while giving the false appearance of innocence and purity. Concerned for their friend, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman attempt to confront the Jonas Brothers at a televised appearance in Denver, but Mickey, mistaking the boys for secret agents hired by DreamWorks (or Michael Eisner) to sabotage the televised appearance, tranquilizes them and takes them prisoner.

When the boys regain consciousness, they are backstage at the Jonas Brothers' 3D concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Mickey interrogates them and eventually threatens them with a chainsaw, refusing to believe they are not working for another company. As Mickey once again rants about his true intentions, this time insulting the Jonas Brothers' fans and Christians, Kyle stealthily turns on the microphone and Cartman raises the curtain, broadcasting Mickey's rant to both the concert-goers and the national television audience. The crowd turns on Mickey and the Jonas Brothers leave the stage in a huff. An enraged Mickey inflates to an enormous size and begins spitting fire and destroying Denver. Tammy and Kenny remove their purity rings, and Tammy suggests they go to T.G.I. Friday's. The show immediately cuts to Kenny's funeral, where the audience learns that he contracted syphilis after receiving a blowjob from his girlfriend Tammy Warner and died.

Memorable Quotes

• "Hey Jimmy, What's a BJ?" Butters Stotch

• "Your girlfriends a slut dude." Eric Cartman

• "My Ginie tingles!" Girl

• "....a purity ring..." Kenny McCormick

• "I've gotta ring on my finger!" The Jonas Brothers

• "You do not fucking talk to me like that!" Mr. Mouse

• "Why don't we go to T.G.I.Fridays." Tammy Warner

What I Learned Today

"Let’s take ‘em off and just be kids again! There’ll be plenty of time to wear rings and be boring and lame -- when we reach our late 30’s and we’re boring and lame anyway!"

Characters

Kenny McCormick

Tammy Warner

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Jonas Brothers

Mrs. McCormick

Stuart McCormick

Mr. Mouse

Little Girl with the Puppy T-Shirt

Sarah and Boyfriend

Carole and Boyfriend

Nancy and Boyfriend

Jonas Brothers' fans

Body Count

Kenny McCormick

Locations

Bus Stop

South Park Elementary

South Park Community Theater

Warner Residence

Behind The Scenes

• This was an episode where April Stewart did not play a lead female character. (Tammy Warner)

• In the beginning of the episode, Butters runs to the lunch table and tells the others what's happening, which he has done in a few past episodes. (The List etc.)

Pop Culture References

• This episode was made when the Jonas Brothers were really popular and girls would obsess over the singing douchebags.

• The scenes with the Jonas Brothers using hoses to shoot foam into the faces of their female fans were inspired by actual scenes in Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience.

• The show Grey's Anatomy is mocked in "The Ring"; Kenny and Tammy, and the other characters who wear purity rings, develop a strong affinity for the show as they become more boring.

Bonus Factoids

The Foleys from Ginger Kids appear in The Ring with Mrs. Foley having blonde hair and their youngest daughter Katie having a new non-ginger look. They were also seen with two new daughters.

Season 13

e1 The Ring

e2 The Coon

e3 Margaritaville

e4 Eat, Pray, Queef

e5 Fishsticks

e6 Pinewood Derby

e7 Fatbeard

e8 Dead Celebrities

e9 Butters' Bottom Bitch

e10 W.T.F.

e11 Whale Whores

e12 The F Word

e13 Dances With Smurfs

e14 Pee