Story

After watching the opening ceremonies of the recent Olympic games, Cartman is sure that the Chinese are just days away from invading America, but he can't get anyone to listen to him because the entire country is haunted by the tragic rape of someone near and dear to them. Only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.

Description

After watching the Beijing 2008 Olympics on television, Cartman has been plagued by nightmares about the Chinese, believing that they will invade America. He tries to warn his friends but Kyle says he "can't do this any more" and leaves. Stan later confronts Kyle, the latter stating that he cannot pretend things are normal again after "the rape of a friend". He confesses his feelings of deep guilt and regret over the fact he, Stan and their friends "just stood there and did nothing". Elsewhere, Cartman convinces Butters that China is going to take over America and kill Butters' parents. Butters decides to join Cartman's group, the American Liberation Front. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Clyde and Jimmy start to remember and have flashbacks of the rape which is revealed to be their viewing of the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull film. They are appalled and devastated to see George Lucas (voiced by Matt Stone) and Steven Spielberg (voiced by Trey Parker) "rape" Indiana Jones.

Meanwhile, Cartman and Butters dress up as stereotypical Chinese children and go to P. F. Chang's China Bistro to try to trick the Chinese people into telling them when the "invasion" is set to occur. The two boys' antics begin to annoy everyone, but when they are asked to leave, they instead take the entire restaurant hostage. Cartman gives Butters a gun and tells him to fire at a man who is trying to escape. Butters promptly shoots the man in the penis, which upsets Cartman greatly. At the same time, Kyle and his friends visit the Park County District Attorney and asks him to arrest Spielberg and Lucas for raping Indiana Jones. When the DA relives the rape in his mind, where Indiana and the DA himself were in a pub together, and Indiana was raped atop a pinball machine in a scene that parallels the rape scene from The Accused, he tearfully agrees to help them. Afterwards, they go to the Park County Police Station to have Spielberg and Lucas arrested. One detective is also disturbed by the rape as well and relives the incident as well in his mind, which this time is a parody of the famous "squeal like a pig" scene from Deliverance.

Back at the restaurant, the police arrive to respond to the hostage situation. When the police try to enter the restaurant, Butters fires a warning shot and also hits the Chinese policeman in the penis. This angers Cartman all the more. In the closing moments, the police find and take away Spielberg and Lucas (while raping an Imperial Stormtrooper), despite their protests over a lack of evidence and the huge totals they have brought in at the box office. Meanwhile, at the restaurant, Cartman gives up on his mission of saving America after Butters shoots another man in the penis and surrenders to the police. As he is walking outside, a police officer arrives to inform the others that Lucas and Spielberg are finally in custody. The officers and hostages all rejoice that "it's all over", and while everyone is hugging and crying, Cartman and Butters sneak away. Reflecting on the day's events, Cartman decides he'd rather be Chinese than "a nation of unethical dick shooters". Butters is unable to see what all the fuss is about, as he thought Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was "pretty good".

Characters

Locations

Park County Police Station

Stark's Pond

Behind The Scenes

Pop Culture References

• The entirety of the episode is based around the poor reception of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (2008), at least from fans of the "Indiana Jones" series. Since in the general terms, the film received mixed reviews.
• The rape scenes involving Indy, Lucas, and Speilberg are allusions to the films "Boys Don't Cry" (1999), "The Accused" (1988), and "Deliverance" (1972).

Bonus Factoids

Season 12

e1 Tonsil Trouble

e2 Britney's New Look

e3 Major Boobage

e4 Canada on Strike

e5 Eek, A Penis!

e6 Over Logging

e7 Super Fun Time

e8 The China Probrem

e9 Breast Cancer Show Ever

e10 Pandemic

e11 Pandemic 2: The Startling

e12 About Last Night...

e13 Elementary School Musical

e14 The Ungroundable