About

Seventy-five million years ago, the Dark Lord Xenu ruled the Galactic Federation of Planets and fearing overpopulation, froze aliens from countless planets and released the frozen remains into Hawaiian volcanoes on Earth, killing them instantly. Their released souls were brain-washed by Xenu in his facilities on Earth and forced to watch brain-washing material, believing a false reality and then roamed Earth in confusion, grabbing on to the souls of men, causing all of mankind's problems.

(This is what Scientologists actually believe.)

In reality, Scientology is a global scam perpetuated to get millions of dollars out of gullible people and celebrities that even the higher-ups don't think has a point to it - Stan Marsh was recruited by one of the Church's leaders to act as a reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard but tried to reveal the scam - so they threatened to sue him. They've stayed away from South Park since, besides a group of recruiters who still offer free 'personality tests' to the townspeople.

Members

Tom Cruise

John Travolta

Featured Episodes

• Toilet Paper (s07e03; mentioned)
• Trapped in the Closet (s09e12)
• The Return of Chef (s10e01; referenced)

Bonus Factoids

• The Blainetologists in "Super Best Friends" were parodies of the Church of Scientology.
• Isaac Hayes, the former voice of Jerome "Chef" McElroy, was a Scientologist for much of his life; he and his character were excluded from "Trapped in the Closet" out of respect.
  • Though Hayes stated shortly after the episode aired in November that he didn't really take much offense to it. Five months later in March 2006, shortly after Hayes suffered a stroke, he was released from his contract with South Park after a statement was issued in his name claiming the episode was offensive and bigoted and claiming he was quitting. Matt and Trey have admitted on the commentary track they "don't think Isaac wrote it".