Story

Description

South Park's parents, disgusted by charges that Catholic priests molest children, decide to become atheists. Cartman, who can't understand why a counselor asked him if Father Maxi ever put anything up his butt, theorizes that you can put food in your ass and crap out your mouth. Kyle bets Cartman $20 that he can't. To everyone's amazement, he does. Soon everyone starts doing it.

Horrified at what seems to be a widespread problem of priests molesting children, Father Maxi goes to the Vatican for help. There he discovers that pretty much every priest, everywhere, does it. When Maxi protests, he's told that nowhere in the Holy Document of Vatican Law is this considered wrong -- and that the law can't be changed because no one can find the original document.

After a treacherous journey, Father Maxi retrieves the Holy Document of Vatican Law from the catacombs beneath St. Peter's Basilica and demands it be altered to prohibit sex with young boys. The Pope then summons a "higher authority" to weigh in -- a 20-foot-tall Queen Spider who says the law can't be changed. Disgusted, Father Maxi tears the old parchment in two, causing the basilica to crumble.

When the Cardinals accuse him of ruining the religion, Maxi says that people have forgotten what being a Catholic is all about. They are losing faith because they don't see how the religion applies to them. If people don't have a mythology to live by, they just start "spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths."

Back in South Park, the adults (who thanks to Cartman have been literally spewing crap out of their mouths) hear Maxi on TV, decide to give up on atheism, forget all the outdated mumbo jumbo that has been made in Rome over the years, and live as Catholics in today's world.

What I Learned Today

"We don't have to believe every word of the Bible. They're just stories to help us live by. We shouldn't toss away the lessons of the Bible just because some assholes in Italy screwed it up."

Memorable Quotes

• "Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?" Stan
• "So you crapped out of your mouth! Good for you! It's still stupid and immature!" Kyle
• "Now, the key to shoving a turkey up your ass is first wrapping it in string, keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side." Martha Stewart
• "Oh Randy, I don't want to put food up my butt anymore." Sharon Marsh
• "Let's all be atheists!" Linda Stotch
• "Alright, now keep with me here, it gets a little complicated: If you eat food and crap out your butt, then maybe if you stuck food in your butt, you could crap out your MOUTH." Cartman
• "Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said! This week." Kyle
• "YES! I DID IT!! I CRAPPED OUT MY MOUTH!!!" Cartman
• "The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor sharp teeth! Do you really expect us to have sex with them?!" Gelgameks Cardinal

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Butters Stotch

Randy Marsh

Sharon Marsh

Father Maxi

Pope John Paul II

Queen Spider

Richard Tweak

Mrs. McCormick

Stuart McCormick

Linda Stotch

Stephen Stotch

Thomas Tucker

Martha Stewart

FBI Agents

Jerome "Chef" McElroy

Character Debuts

Clyde's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Donovan, have their debut in this episode. They join up with the rest of the parents and become members of the South Park Atheist Club.

Betsy Donovan

Roger Donovan

Catholic Priests, Cardinals, and Bishops from around the world, as well as The Queen Spider, who acts as the highest source of arbitration in the Catholic faith. Also the Gelgamek Catholics -- an alien race that's adopted Catholicism.

Gelgameks

Locations

South Park Church

Vatican City

Behind The Scenes

The idea of having Father Maxi descend into the bowels of the Vatican to retrieve a sacred text sounded like a nightmare to animate. They got around the problem by having it look like a scene from the old Pitfall video game.

Where Did The Idea Come From

The episode was developed in the midst of the seemingly endless scandals where Catholic priests were having sex with young boys. South Park's other Executive Producer, Anne Garefino, is Catholic. Trey asked her how she felt about the sex scandals. What Priest Maxi says about the Catholic Church at the end of the episode is Trey's interpretation of what she said. Also, Matt and Trey had for years wanted to do a show in which people crapped out of their mouths. This was their chance.

Songs

Original Song

"The Catholic Boat"

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

"The Catholic Boat," the nightmarish cruise ship run by child-molesting priests, is a parody of the popular TV show The Love Boat.

Cartman is unsure what to buy with the $20 he won off Kyle -- The Mega Man Racer or two packs of Denver Broncos Trading Cards.

Pwn'd

Martha Stewart, who first demonstrates how to prepare a turkey for anal insertion, then actually does it. Stewart can also be seen demonstrating how to decorate your queefs in "Eat, Pray, Queef."

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

Although the Pope was briefly seen in "Do The Handicapped Go to Hell?", this is his "big" debut. He will be featured in several more future episodes.

"Intero-Rectogestion" (eating food through the butt and crapping out the mouth) was deemed by the Surgeon General to be a much healthier way to eat. And he based this statement "on absolutely nothing."

When looking for the notorious episode where "people crap out their mouths," many fans confuse this episode with Season 5's "How To Eat With Your Butt," which features no mouth-poopage.

Season 6

e1 Freak Strike

e2 Jared Has Aides

e3 Asspen

e4 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer

e5 Fun with Veal

e6 Professor Chaos (episode)

e7 The Simpsons Already Did It

e8 Red Hot Catholic Love

e9 Free Hat

e10 Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society

e11 Child Abduction is Not Funny

e12 A Ladder to Heaven

e13 The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers

e14 The Death Camp of Tolerance

e15 The Biggest Douche in the Universe

e16 My Future Self 'n' Me

e17 Red Sleigh Down