Story

Description

The boys, Chef, and Cartman's mom fly to New York City to consult with "psychic" John Edward about how to get Kenny's soul out of Cartman's body. However, they quickly realize he's a fake and decide to visit Chef's parents in Scotland, who are well-versed in the art of exorcism.

Stan stays in New York City with Kyle, who was convinced by one of Edward's comments that his deceased grandmother wants him to enroll in a private Jewish school called Jewleeard. Stan tells Kyle that Edward, like all psychics, uses a technique called "cold reading" to trick people. To demonstrate how easily it can be done, Stan starts cold reading people on the street -- unfortunately, he does it so well that people start believing he's psychic. Despite his protests, he gets his own TV show, The Other Side.

Meanwhile, in Scotland, Chef's parents draw Kenny's spirit out of Cartman's body. But without a "victim child" for a host, his soul just bounces around the house until it eventually winds up in a pot roast. Back in New York, John Edward challenges Stan to a "psychic showdown." But instead of reading minds, Stan tells the studio audience that the real mysteries of life and death are far greater than anything a douche like Edward could possibly imagine.

Suddenly a UFO crashes through the roof. Aliens inform Edward that he's been nominated for the Biggest Douche in the Universe award. He's taken aboard their ship, which disappears into the sky.

Cured, Cartman returns home with the pot roast containing Kenny's soul. But through a luggage mixup, it falls into the hands of comedian Rob Schneider, who eats it and becomes possessed.

Meanwhile, in the far off Valxen Galaxy, Edward does indeed win the Biggest Douche in the Universe Award.

What I Learned Today

"At first I thought you were all stupid, listening to this douche's advice. But now I understand that you're all here because you're scared. You're scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want? To just be floating around after you die, having to talk to this asshole? We need to recognize this stuff for what it is: magic tricks. Because whatever's really going on in life and in death is much more amazing than this douche."

Memorable Quotes

• "Cartman is your friend whether you like him or not."Chef
• "Grandma's watching me. Always watching me." Kyle
• "From the creators of Der and Turn Ta Tittaly Turn Ta Too, Rob Schneider is Da Derp Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13." (Promo for Rob Schneider Movie)
• "Oh well, I guess the child's a pot roast now." Thomas McElroy
• "It's his time, it's running out." Dr. Doctor
• "That's preposterous!! What this child needs is a time transplant!!" Dr. Doctor
• "No dude, you're a douche." Stan
• "Rob Schneider is A Carrot!" (Movie Trailer)
• "There's only one explaination. This kid can communicate with the dead!" New York Man
• "Oh Lord, they didn't bring a victim child." Nellie McElroy
• "I'm saying this to you John Edward. You are a liar. You are a fake. And you are the biggest douche ever." Stan
• "Here he is. The Biggest Douche of the Universe. In all of the galaxies, there's no bigger douche than you “(Award Song)

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Liane Cartman

Jerome "Chef" McElroy

Thomas McElroy

Nellie McElroy

John Edward

Body Count

Rob Schneider, impaled on a flagpole just like Kenny in "Weight Gain 4000."

Rob Schneider

Locations

Hells Pass Hospital

John Edward Residence

The Jewleeard School

Behind The Scenes

Where Did The Idea Come From

The idea for this episode came from learning how "cold readings" takes advantage of people. Watching this asshole (John Edward) take advantage of people who thought they were really talking to their dead relatives seemed extra cruel.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

Cartman's mom is unsure whether or not to drag her dying son to New York City, until she realizes she can take in the musical Hairspray while there. Also, when Chef's mom places her hands on Cartman and says, "This child is clean," she's parodying a similar line from the movie Poltergeist. There's a picture of Martin Luther King hanging on the wall in Chef's parents' living room. There's also a picture of Chef on the Great Wall of China in their bedroom.

Pwn'd

John Edward, who is portrayed as literally the biggest douche in the universe. Perhaps the only challenger for that honor is comedian Rob Schneider, who also gets slammed. Throughout the episode, we see previews for Schneider's films: The Stapler, A Carrot, Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb, and Kenny. These absurd comedies in which he morphs into different inanimate objects are parodies of his actual movies, in which he's transformed into an animal and a woman.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

While at Edward's house, Stan notices several books in his bookcase, including How to Be a Psychic, Make Women Believe You're Psychic! Then Have Sex With Them!, and How To Sixty Nine With Yourself. When Kyle goes to Jewleeard, he wears the traditional garb of Hasidic Jews, complete with beard and long curls ("peyos"). Kyle also goes Orthodox in "Jewbilee."

We first met Chef's parents, Nelle and Thomas, in "Succubus," when they came to South Park for Chef's disastrous attempt at marriage. Throughout that initial episode, they tell stories of the Lock Ness Monster trying to take their "tree-fiddy" ($3.50). In this episode, Chef's mother offers Kenny's escaped soul "tree fiddy."

The luggage tag on the pot roast in the airport reads "Chef McGillroy, South Park." However, we originally learned that Chef's name is Jerome Chef McElroy in "Chef Aid."

Among the aliens that land on earth to welcome John Edward, there is a "Visitor." These big-eyed, thin-bodied grey aliens can be seen in tons of episodes, dating all the way back to the pilot "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."

A Visitor can be spotted during the scene of Edward's show, hidden between Cartman's Mom and Chef.

Season 6

e1 Freak Strike

e2 Jared Has Aides

e3 Asspen

e4 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer

e5 Fun with Veal

e6 Professor Chaos (episode)

e7 The Simpsons Already Did It

e8 Red Hot Catholic Love

e9 Free Hat

e10 Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society

e11 Child Abduction is Not Funny

e12 A Ladder to Heaven

e13 The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers

e14 The Death Camp of Tolerance

e15 The Biggest Douche in the Universe

e16 My Future Self 'n' Me

e17 Red Sleigh Down