Story

Description

Paris Hilton visits South Park's mall to promote the opening of her new store, Stupid Spoiled Whore. True to its name, the shop offers everything needed to live the Hilton lifestyle, including Skanque perfume and the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset. The playset comes fully equipped with a "videocamera, night vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy" -- everything a girl needs to be a spoiled whore.

Wendy is disgusted by the store and what she perceives as the objectification of women. But apparently no one else is. Soon, all of her friends are playing the game and dressing like sluts.

Meanwhile, Paris grieves over the death of her pet Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, who committed suicide during an unbearable Hilton cell phone conversation. Tinkerbell shot herself rather than listen to her mistress' self-centered prattling. Paris spots Butters, is smitten, and immediately makes him her replacement pet, forcing him to wear a bear costume and calling him Mr. Biggles. Hilton offers Butters' parents $200 million for him. The Stotches make a counteroffer of $250 million, which she accepts.

Wendy becomes a social outcast because she won't act like a whore. Her friend Bebe Stevens even refuses to invite her to a party -- a sex party -- at her house. But the gathering is less than successful, since the boys who attend are frightened by the girls' advances and try to run away. Meanwhile, Wendy asks Mr. Slave (the biggest whore she knows), to teach her how she can become a tramp just like the other girls. Mr. Slave explains that whores are born, not made, and goes to Bebe's house to break up the party.

Meanwhile, Butters (still in his bear costume) makes a terrifying discovery: all of Hilton's previous pets committed suicide. Unwilling to be next, he flees. Paris pursues him, and they both wind up at Bebe's party -- just in time to hear Mr. Slave tell the crowd that Paris Hilton is, among a great many other things, "a thoughtless, talent-less lowlife."

The two argue and challenge each other to a "Whore Off" -- a winner-takes-all contest to determine who is the bigger whore. Paris (among a great many other lewd acts) inserts a pineapple into her vagina. But Mr. Slave goes one better by forcing Hilton's entire body up his anus.

He then procedes to tell the crowd that being a stupid, spoiled whore is nothing to be proud of. The girls see that Mr. Slave is right; they abandon their new lifestyle and apologize to Wendy.

Butters escapes the indentured servitude of being Mr. Biggles. But instead of being welcomed home, he's grounded. His parents were upset at the loss of their $250 million.

And as the credits roll, we see a struggling Paris Hilton still trapped in Mr. Slave's ass.

What I Learned Today

"Being spoiled and stupid and whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, remember? Parents, if you don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised, where are they gonna learn it?"

Memorable Quotes

• "Have fun, girls. And remember to party and be super-lame to everybody!" Paris Hilton
• "I'm totally passing out." Paris Hilton
• "Butters, never get in a car with a stranger. Unless it's a limousine." Stephen Stotch
• "I'm a bad bear. I'm a very bad old bear." Butters
• "Wow, I guess Paris isn't such hot shit after all." Bebe
• "Wow, you really sound like a dumb brat, Bebe!" Annie
• "I need to get wasted. I haven't had a drink in like fourteen minutes. Why is everybody so stupid, anyway?" Paris Hilton
• "Yeah! Like when men shave their balls its fine, but when a woman does it, she's 'strraaannnggee'!"(Random Mother)
• "You're dating Paris Hilton?! You are grounded, mister!!" Linda Stotch
• "Mom, dad, I love you. Please don't sell me to Paris Hilton!" Butters
• "Sorry, Wendy. You're just not a whore. Get lost!" Bebe
• "I'd like to gargle his marbles!" Milly
• "Ewww! This room's all middle class and small!" Paris Hilton
• "Honey, I didn't work to become a whore. I was born a whore." Mr. Slave
• "Parents if YOU don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are to be despised, where are they gonna learn it?!" Mr. Slave
• "Hon, will you just tell these girls that being a whore isn't such a great thing?" Mr. Slave
• "Oh, I WENT there! I went there, took some pictures, and flew back already!" Paris Hilton
• "The homosexual is right. From now on, Bebe, you're going to dress like a little girl." Mr. Stevens

Characters

Wendy Testaburger

Butters Stotch

Paris Hilton

Mr. Slave

Mr. Garrison

Stephen Stotch

Linda Stotch

Eric Cartman

Bebe Stevens

Red

Heidi Turner

Esther

Stupid Spoiled Whore Owner

South Park Chamber of Commerce Rep

Character Debuts

Although she's been a background character since the pilot episode, Annie Faulk (the 4th grader with blond hair and a brown coat) is officially introduced here. After 8 seasons, she gets her first big speaking role. We also meet Annie's mom, Mrs. Faulk. Milly (the 4th grade girl with orange hair and an aqua jacket) also has her first speaking debut, as does Sally Turner (aka "Powder"), who we just learned stuffs her bra in "Quest For Ratings" . A number of other 4th grade girls are also briefly introduced: Jessie and Kal, who try to get Wendy to play Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset; Beth, the girl that spends some time with Clyde in the closet; as well as Kelly Rutherfordminskin and Kelly Pinkertonsonfordter -- two chicks that both deny knowing Cartman. Both Wendy's father and Bebe's father also make their debut here. We met both of their mothers in "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society" .

Annie Faulk

Powder Turner

Millie Larsen

Beth

Kal

Jessie

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin

Mr. Testaburger

Mr. Stevens

Mrs. Knitts-Faulk

Character Returns

The Frog Prince, who resides in the magical neverland of Mr. Slave's lower GI tract, appears for the first time since "The Death Camp of Tolerance". At the very end of the episode, he shows up to help guide Paris Hilton to freedom, just as he did for the gerbil Lemmiwinks.

Frog King

Body Count

Paris' numerous former pets, all of whom killed themselves in highly creative ways. Cuddles the beagle committed seppuku; Patches the poodle hung himself; Scrambles the collie slit his wrists; and her Chihuahua Tinkerbell shot himself in the head with a pistol. Although it's unclear of her fate, Paris Hilton is condemned to the expansive bowels of Mr. Slave's colon.

Cuddles

Patches

Tinkerbell

Scrambles (cat)

Locations

Testaburger Residence

Original Songs

• The catchy, Fisher-Price-esque theme to "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset" plays over the commercial for the board game.

• When Paris is trapped tightly within the confines of Mr. Slave's anus, we here the fanciful song "Paris Hilton" (sung to the tune of the "Lemmiwinks" song from "The Death Camp of Tolerance").

Loo Loo Loo, I've Got Some Apples

While playing with apples, Butters sings a little snippet of "Loo Loo Loo, I've Got Some Apples." "The song will re-appear in several future episodes (including "You Got F'd in The A, The Death of Eric Cartman, Erection Day, The China Probrem and Pre-School"

Behind The Scenes

Where Did The Idea Come From

At the time, Paris Hilton was doing Guess Jeans ads. To Matt and Trey, it seemed as if she was being positioned as some sort of role model for young girls. Which looked, to them, like one of the worst ideas ever.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

Pop Culture References The whored-out girls discuss using the all-too-real drug Ketamine, an animal tranquilizer that, when ground into a snortable powder, is known as Special K. Wendy's parents are seen watching The Price is Right. The fake commercial for Letcher-Price's Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset is a parody of various girl-themed, fashion playsets sold by toy giant Fisher-Price. Elements of the commercial also parody the infamous Paris Hilton sex tape.

Pwn'd

Paris Hilton. She is shown as perhaps the biggest, most spoiled whore in the world. When pleading for his parents not to sell him, Butters cries: "She snores real bad! And she has a huge nose and this squishy thing that lives in her pants!" But it's not just Paris -- we learn that "Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid They're all stupid spoiled whores!"

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

Paris can be seen guzzling s'mores-flavored schnapps, last seen in Season Three's "The Red Badge of Gayness." We learn that Butters' grandfather was a coal miner for 50 years. Butters' tries his hand at coal mining in an effort to raise $250 million so that his parents won't sell him to Paris Hilton. It doesn't work out. A brief glimpse of Mr. Slave's life as a kid is shown through flashbacks. Turns out he's always been a whore, even as an infant.

Season 8

e1 Good Times With Weapons

e2 AWESOM-O

e3 Up the Down Steroid

e4 The Passion of the Jew

e5 You Got F'd in the A

e6 Goobacks

e7 The Jeffersons

e8 Douche and Turd

e9 Something Wall Mart This Way Comes

e10 Pre-School

e11 Quest for Ratings

e12 Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

e13 Cartman's Incredible Gift

e14 Woodland Critter Christmas